bonnaroo eve

view from my tent

The adventures of life and where/when/who you experience them with. 

In 2012 I experienced bonnaroo, 'roo was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was freeing and intimidating. It was joyful and like learning to fly. 

I think it helped me learn to fly. 

Timing is everything in life. And the timing that brought me to this venture was phenomenal. The music was crazy great. Bon Iver became my favorite band for a year after this event and Radiohead left me numb. The Civil Wars passion was intoxicating and Fun's performance was like watching a band come of age.  

I've said that bonnaroo is a music lover's paradise. If you are crazy about music - this is the place to be. 

But the takeaway was not the music. It was the people. 
Jessica and Russ
Nicole, Lacy and Tanya
Adam and whathis name who had a 90 something year old grandpop who were from one of the Dakotas. 
The Louisiana neighbors (Nick, Zach and Ben) and the youngsters behind us. 
Sam and the Tennessee clan who had everything one could need. 
And countless more. 

They were the takeaway. 

They were the inspiration. 

They were the real joy. 

They were what lives on, and on, in my soul. 

Leaving boxes of pop-tarts on the car with a sign that said "free" and returning to find them gone. Finding a note wrapped in plastic (rain) from our MN. neighbors saying "hey, great to meet you!" The music was beyond words, but experiencing it with others was the real joy. 

When we arrived it was like the Oklahoma land rush. 
Cars rushing up to their spot after spending 1-20 hours driving to get to this point,parking and pouring out to claim your campsite. The sky dark. 10:30 PM. Tents pitched. People talking. Taylor wanders to the bathroom ad-mist a sea of cars only to not find his way back until he called me (cell phones). 

Crawling into our newly created homes in a field in Tennessee, with 10's of thousands of people. All gathered to be free, show love and share the moments. Where moments mattered. 

It was in that tent where the fear arose. What am I doing here? What is going to happen? This is madness and it was above that madness that slowly from all around the peoples voices swelled up saying "bonnaroooooooooo", and my fear became greater in anticipation of an event that helped me realize who I was, who I am and to connect even further with myself in that freedom. 

That night was intimidating. The days were a bit overwhelming. And on this eve of bonnaroo 2013 I must say- I miss you bonnaroo. I wish I was there. I wish I could meet even more people. I wish I could experience you. 

2014 I think I am yours- God willing. 

freedom in LOVE

there is freedom in love

real love 

love keeps no record of wrongdoing 

love is patient  ~  love is kind

Freddie sings "why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love"

"why can't we give love"

are we ready to receive love

do we want to receive love

are we ready to give love

give w\o return

love w\o return

be w\o ______

play for me

Dear Street Musicians, 

Oh, how I love you. How you change my day and make me smile whenever and wherever I hear you. 

As I round the corner in of the city stairwells I hear the sounds of a flute or violin, a keyboard or sax and in some places I hear the beat on a pickle barrel. 

May the musicians of the world never stop singing and playing and being who they are. 

I love music; love, love, love music....more than popcorn, cole slaw, soft pretzels, heavily buttered and salted corn and more than a pizza fresh out of the oven with the cheese dripping into my mouth. 

Music does something

It brings people together
It forms bonds
It crosses bridges
It makes people smile 

Stop and listen

Hear the love
Feel the love
Become the love

tonight @7:20PMish at the bottom of the Metro steps leading  into Union Station this dude was taking music apart on his violin. Made it cry if you ask me. Just blew me away. I stopped, I sat. I listened. I cheered. Pure artistry. He played the Tango from the end of True Lies when Arnold and Jamie-Lee dance. He said the song meant "love" to him....to love!

this world is not my home

I think of God and Jesus daily. I don't understand those that don't. God's word says pray for understanding and I do, but I don't understand those that have not reconciled death. Maybe they have reconciled and I just don't like their reconciliation(s).....lol

The reconciliation for death, for me, is God, the Son and the Holy Ghost. 

I have searched my world and have experienced a vortex in Sedona, some weird stuff with a ouija board, but I  have not yet been to India, the Holy Land or Mecca. I have felt the Holy Spirit amongst mere men (and woman). I see Jesus in others eyes and hearts and on occasion I see evil in the eyes and hearts of men (and woman) and that evil turns my stomach (turns my stomach not in a judgemental way, but out of fear).

Today I saw evil again. It was fierce and piercing. It hurt my heart. 
I heard that evil, and amongst the pain caused by that evil I felt a collective uprising of hope, truth and love going against this evil.

I have reconciled. I am heaven bound and when I doubt, and I do, like a Christmas train falling off it's track, someone always picks me up and places my wheels back on that track, they push me back and forth a few times and then let me go.

May God bless you. 

experiences

experiences

The first tool I bought after the purchase of 505 Harrison Avenue in Collingswood, NJ (where I live), a monkey wrench, a large monkey wrench. We had a plumbing issue, which still persists to this day, 24 years later (albeit occasionally). 

I remember using this wrench, getting to the issue, working it over and over, and finally succeeding, although an issue still persists to this day.

I've not used this wrench since, well maybe once or twice very briefly, but mainly out of fondness. 

These experiences have added up to life. 

There have been other experiences, some in travels and some in daily routine commutes, They all add up to life. 

There was that time I chopped down a 30' maple, or the time I carted a Christmas tree to my daughter's to find it didn't fit in her stand. And then there was the moments we picked out the tree that did. 

There was the experience of almost routing my thumb off with a Roman Ogee bit (woodworkers?). And the times I didn't have my homework complete. 

Everything adds up to life. 

There was the time I gave away the medical scrubs in Honduras to find out I should not have. 

There were times I were snookered and times I did the snookering (not so proud of those). 

These were all times. All moments. All experiences. 

Experiences. 

Minutes of life leading up to life.

We all need to take advantage of these experiences. 
We all need to understand these moments make up a life. 
We all need to use that life. 
use it for each other
for that is life

hit like a brick

For we know that the whole of creation ((the world)) has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now ((the pains/hurts/trials and tribulations of the world w/o God)). And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits ((put simply, believers of Jesus)) of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons ((heaven)), the redemption of our bodies ((heaven)).
Black words are God's and blue is commentary

every now and again I get hit with a brick in the head and I begin to understand something

today that happened

motivation/confidence and where we find it

 "the world could be fixed of it's problems if every child understood the necessity of their existence" Dwight D. Eisenhower

When I am confident I feel strong and when I am not I wonder where it is from that I gain said confidence and where does my motivation come from. I am struck with such phrases as- git er done and just do it.  There's also this quote - "To the degree we are willing to be ourselves is the degree to which we can honestly feel loved. The risk is always rejection." D. Miller

Do you wonder where you get your motivation from?

Do you wonder from wherein you gain confidence?


I blog about this thought process quite a bit and primarily because quite often, all of the mistakes and errors I have made come to a head and cause me to stumble. Billy Joel sings - "you're only human, you're allowed to make your share of mistakes". And yet myself, and I am sure others, dwell in their mistakes and errors. And it is hitting me. What if we did understand the necessity of our existence? What if we were just ourselves, in all of our glory, mistakes and all. Past history, errors, poor judgement and so on and so forth...need I go on?

Jesus calls it grace. You know that song isn't called Amazing Grace for nothing. his grace is amazing. More oft then not, the hardest person to offer forgiveness to is ourselves. 

So how do we do it? Where do we find it? 

I could be wrong, but for me I know, I get it from others. Their encouragement, their smiles, their knowing acceptances. I do not believe this is the same for all of us, although some may beg to differ.

So....the pig isn't finished and is a story unto itself. I need some motivation to finish it and will find it soon. 

But what motivates you? Where do you get your confidence from? Please share. 
Peace, grace and love.