the definition of confidence

Carli Lloyd came to play.

Five minutes into the game she scored her second goal on the biggest stage, in the biggest game she would ever play and she did it with strength as if she caused it to happen.

You could feel the energy emulating from the field.

Then, from mid-field - - -  GOAL!!!!!!

"That", is confidence.

Three goals in the first 16 minutes of the Women's World Cup. I'd say she wanted it.

B-12

I know this feeling, this feeling of elation/confidence and happiness will pass, it always does. 

But for now, I'm going to take it. 

I am going to live it while I can. 

In a weird way I feel like I found myself again. 

I was lost (but now i'm found).

Sometimes this lost/found thing is a daily struggle (kinda like my keys)

But I want to tell you why I'm found a bit more today - - 

PEOPLE

Reading Matthew Quick's latest book - Love May Fail

And a visit from my friend Mark

Mark did not impart any advice - no, he just shared his life concerns/happiness's and struggles. They were not to far off from mine. 

In the end. It's all good. 

I have found a bit of my B-12 again

I have been singing and playing Marley's "Three Little Birds" for about two months now. I will probably continue to do that, but that coupled with a tad of endurance and knowing I am not alone in my struggles has changed the game for today and isn't that all we really have, today?

the enemy, to put it nicely

It is said to love your enemy and whomever says, "You fool!" will be liable to the hell of fire.

Here's the problem.....I didn't call a guy a "fool" this week, I called him a derogatory term of the male anatomy that is considerably worse than being called a fool.

Sure, every morning I woke up praying for this fella,. but again, by mid to late morning I was calling him a _____ , again.

Boy is God stuff hard. I really had a hard time with this guy, I still do. I guess that's why so many people call us "Christians" hypocrites, and I can see why.

I am a hypocrite, saved by God's grace, but the things I thought, felt and said despite the fact that this fella was not nice.........and I struggle to say "not nice", despite all of this  I am wrong in my feelings and thoughts.

Sure I can preach love, love, love all day, everyday, but preaching and action are different things.

I do get it right sometimes, but more often then not, I don't, and I really need to learn to think positively about people and see people's goodness. If people looked at me the way I look at other people.....well....

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"

"whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council and whoever says, "You fool!" will be liable to the hell of fire."

Book of Matthew - the gospel message

heavy heart/lamentation

"and as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them" God

"may you always do for others, and let others do for you" Bob Dylan

a lamentation
how do I get him to understand this principal that has served me my whole life?

what have I done wrong to cause his ungratefulness and selfishness....is it my own selfishness????

where o'where are the answers my Lord?

where can I find peace amongst this heartbreak?

where. 

changing someone's heart ranks among the hardest thing to accomplish
yes, they must want to change it, i get it, i understand, but when a heart can do the most simplest of things in showing love and caring for others and someone's selfishness can't see beyond that....that hurts. 

help me Lord. 

help them Lord

help me help them o'Lord. 

Mornings mean COFFEE!!!!!

......Mornings mean God. 

I love God so much. I talk to Him. He listens. He loves me despite everything about me. And there is a lot about me that is not pretty. 

I talk to Him about the people in my life, the people I care deeply about. Not all of those things change when I ask Him to change things. I don't always understand why and I may never understand. That's one of the reasons when He tells me to pray for "understanding", I do. 

This AM I read this amazing passage in the bible. It makes perfect sense. As if you just put the last piece of a puzzle in and the picture is complete. That's what God's word does for me. 

I Hope I don't lose you here - 

"In him was life, and the life was the light of men. "
In Jesus was LIFE and should we choose that LIFE we will have serious crazy insane LIGHT

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it"
And that line....speaks for itself. 

May you find God, may you have peace and joy and happiness. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Be light. 

as broken as the world

from pure joy to negative emotions in ten minutes or less.

And the morning starts out ever so beautifully. The morning light working it's way into the day. The wildlife bustling and hustling in their routine.

6AM. wake-up, make coffee, pack for a two day work trip. Prepare a note for mechanic to drop truck off for reinspection, shower, clean truck out (quickly), knock out some minor dishwashing, toss the shedding lilies out till I can get more flowers, rewrite note to repair shop (forgot some things), gently lay with Margaret before leaving, snuggle.

Drive truck to repair shop, walk to Patco enjoying the heavy flurry of snow, make an incredibly positive fb post. Walk with a skip in my step.

Get to train station and wait and wait and wait and wait and begin to lose said skip continuing to wait KNOWING that my 8:42 AM train to DC will not wait and my cushion of 12+ minutes is going away with each passing second.

The train arrives over 20 minutes late.

My mind has totally rearranged my day since the chances of me making my Amtrak train are all but dissipated.

Where did my joy go, that skip in my step that was present not even 20 minutes ago?

I know I still have it, but I totally let a late train negate my joy and my emotions are starting to run rampant.

There was nothing I could do arriving on the 2nd train platform of the day (Septa) with 22 minutes till the Regional Amtrak departs.

It all worked out, it always does. Not worthy of  miracle status or maybe so.

Maybe we need to measure the seconds a little better, maybe it is in the detail of time where we find godly joy.

I stand now, waiting for the Regional Amtrak to arrive.....it's about 3 minutes out, so they say....meanwhile I listen, hoping to notice the seconds as they occur.