first draft

The wrongs I have done are oh so powerful and come back to haunt quite often.

They take the shape of words I have spoken, actions I have made and thoughts I have and have had as well as the things I said I would do for others and didn't.

Those "wrongs"  become my focus. Whereas the good and wonderful things I have experienced are covered in the darkness of the of those wrongs (but are they wrongs?)

It's like that whirlpool you made in the pool as a kid; going round and round, carrying everything in its path in that circle, growing stronger and stronger, making it more and more difficult to stop those wrongs (are they wrongs?) from being the focus.

Someone once told me depression was like being in a cave and not being able to find their way out. An endless life of darkness and those wrongs blanketing the light and that whirlpool carrying you around faster and faster.

But what if those words and actions were not wrong (or right). What if they were just what happened then (and maybe now).

And what mattered was me and you and now. Realizing that elation and sadness worked together and to not let either rule the roost, but rather let each emotion have its time.

But, depression - you're sick, hurting - people you love are sick and hurting - you have no money - you have no money - you have no home - you have no job - you have no one to love you

REALITIES for sure and cause to be sad, to be caught in that whirlpool, lost in the cave.

The sadness can be overpowering which brings us to the word of the day actually a word for many days and really a word for all days - CONFIDENCE

Doesn't CONFIDENCE mean to believe?

I ask you to believe
Believe in Yourself
Believe in Love
Believe in Others
Believe in Mercy
Believe in Kindness
Don't ever stop believing, not ever.

Let the hurt of the world make you stronger and KNOW it will.
That hurt and pain can help others with their hurt and pain.

Chase understanding - think about understanding and what it really is.
Seek to understand
Seek to understand others

We leave with this - Have confidence (belief) and work to gain understanding

five songs to learn

day 1

wonder - - -

kindness - -

allah allah - -

forever young - - -

something beautiful - - -

winter storm - -

the journey

Today is full of rivers to ford, mountains to climb, valleys to traverse

The rivers run swift, the mountains leave you breathless and the valleys may cloud your eyes

The parking lots run rampant

The roads are engaging (if not enraging)

Our mind lead us to deception, indifference and intolerance while a focus from our hearts will forever lead to a level of understanding 

The mountains are steep

The rivers ice cold

The valleys are tiring
(and somewhere along the way there may be a swarm of green heads that descend upon you) 

The checkout line works my patience
The incompetence of the world tries me

Yet my heart longs for differences

My heart sees the love - the beauty - the positive - the good - the right - the joy - the happiness

But I must pursue these feelings, these emotions - I must work for them, despite the depression, the failures and inadequacies I posses, I must focus my heart on what is good and right

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death. Leonardo da Vinci

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things" God

"Those who look to him are radiant" God

Roger's Wisdom

It was just about 10 years ago that I bumped into Roger on what was a typical work day.

Roger and his wife Punni have owned Liberty Chicken in the Bourse Food Court for some 30 years and they always ask how my family is with the most genuine sincerity that one cannot help but answer them.

Roger had watched all three of my children work for me in my corporate retail job at one time or another.

Roger - How's the family Tate?

Me - good Roger.......it's just Sean. 

Roger looks at me for a further explanation as if I needed prodding to continue. 

Me - Well......Sean called in December to say he was dropping out of college and going to live on someone's couch off campus.

I look at Roger for approval of my discomfort of this statement and find none so I continue.

Me - Here it is February Roger and he hasn't had a job since he dropped out and Sean called me today to tell me he got a job.

Roger smiles. 

Me - Sean got a job delivering pizzas' five days a week from 11:30 - 1:00 PM.....that's 1.5 hours of work per day!!

Roger smiles with his knowing eyes. 

Me - Like what does he think! He hasn't worked for months. He's living on someones couch! He got a job for like 2 hours a day delivering pizzas!! Really!!!

Roger - Where do you think Sean will be in ten years?

Me - I don't know

Roger - Do you think any of this you describe will matter in ten years with Sean?

Me -  .......no, I don't think it will matter Roger.


It's been ten years since that conversation. On that day I encountered wisdom. Roger was right; ten years have gone by and none of that stuff really mattered.  Sean is a wonderful son with a good job, is married to a wonderful woman and they are expecting.

I share Roger's wisdom often.

My faith in 20+ seconds

 - - I believe we should not judge others for any reason. I believe God is the judge and has the final "call" on our souls, not me.

 - - We are called to love others whenever and however and most especially to love those we are inclined to judge. 

The people I judge most are not like me, the people who piss me off, the people who do not look or act like me and these are the people I need to love. 

and that, in a nutshell, is my biblical Jesus based faith. 


"There's a little more faith and grace to help me run this race, that's all I need" - Lucinda Williams

For SP

hold them

everyday a new chapter 

a story to be told 

a life to be lived

a smile to be given

a hello

a nod

eye contact

the beauty of us all

so beautiful 

so wonderful 

today

the moments are fleeting

the moments fly

hold them

the self-portrait doesn't really work, 

but does art really work?

enjoy the moments

they are but few