Election Eve 2020

Deep breath. I like to enact change for the overall good. I like kindness and mercy. I am about as imperfect as they come....ask my wife, kids, and coworkers they'll tell you - just don't ask or tell my grandchildren - they don't know. When Donald Trump won the Presidential Election in 2016 my wife and I had gone to bed confident that Hillary had won. I think most of the USA did....or at least those in the mid-Atlantic states did. Let's be clear - I am a life-long NJ resident. I am a registered "unafiliated" as we call it in NJ. Used to be called an Independent, but I'm guessing the two-party system figures no one wants to be unafiliated and they'd force me to choose a party. They couldn't be farther from the truth. I am not happy with either. I've never voted Repub or Dem in a Presidential race till this 2020 election. As you go forward reading - don't judge. Here are my stances - I cannot have an abortion and should not be able to decide if woman should or should not have abortions That is her choice. The baby can't make the choice and nor should you for another. A sin is a sin. Sins are equal. Lying is equivelant to murder according to the bible - research it so you learn it (if you believe in God). I am against the death penalty. I am for sharing; sharing my country, my home, my food, my money. I am for love being a driving force of my life. I am for the earth and aware that we are abusing earth's resources and causing serious damage to planet earth from our pollution. I am anti gun - I get hunting. Hunt away with your guns, keep your guns, but assault weapons and weapons that shoot multiple bullets in short times frames should not be able to be obtained by the average citizen. Our justice system which fuels our prison system needs reform. We incarcerate more people than anywhere else in the world. Why - because politicians sell you on "safety". Safety sells and you are buying. Clinton instilled the "three strike" rule which put a lot of people in prison. Police reform/defunding whatever you want to call it is just an examination and reallocation of funds to better serve the public and it can and should ALWAYS be rexamined and done. It's smart business. I say Black Lives Matter and am heartbroken by those who cannot or will not say it. I don't see a man with my best interests in mind in Donald Trump I see a man that is selling Evangelical desires to the masses and they are buying it. I see a man selling PRO LIFE to the people who have cried for it's resolve for decades. You aren't going to ever stop abortions. You may push them into the back alleys, but you are not going to stop them. You are not going to win souls to Jesus by shouting murderer to the woman who has an abortion! But when you hold her hand and don't judge her....you might. If we spent more time educating people and providing resources to people we would stop more abortions that way. Donald Trump says more lies than any public figure I've encountered yet y'all just look the other way. Donald makes fun of people incessantly, mocking them like a bully and yet his wife is working towards stopping cyber bullying....I guess she doesn't read his tweets. - Twenty Six woman have accused Donald Trump of inappropriate sexual misconduct - He has not denounced White Supremacy - He has and continues to mishandle the worldwide pandemic - He lies - He bullies So yeah, I totally get the Hillary thing. Trump winning over her. I understand. But look out your window right now - Our country is on the brink of an implosion. And who's been in charge? I forgot to mention homosexuality - It runs the same with abortion. I'm not the judge. I've got enough darkness in my own life that is between me and God that I don't want you to judge me on so therefore I am not called to judge others.

If true character is revealed in times of hardship - - I'm failing

We are in the middle of what is perhaps the biggest calamity I've experienced in my lifetime and I feel like I'm failing.

The next three weeks in Southern New Jersey will see the pandemic of the Corona Virus peak and then hopefully wane and our lives will begin to rebuild.
We will experience financial loss, the loss of family and, friends.

Cue up "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor...then cue up Bob Marley singing "every little thing's gonna be alright", what the hell....cue up "It's the End of the World as We Know It" by R.E.M.

We have running water there are no bombs or people running rampant in the streets as well as a full pantry with access to more food at the grocery store. We have internet, entertainment on the television and, plenty of electricity.

Yet I have no control and herein lies the problem.

My brother who is at risk due to his health is working at the local Home Depot. Our youngest son is working at the Whole Foods grocery store where people are semi heeding the government restrictions and warnings. And our daughter is working in healthcare in the Emergency Room on the very front lines of where people will go when sick. I can sense death and I don't like it and cannot control it.

People think I'm this kind guy who preaches love and the appreciation of others, and I am....when it suits me. Others who know me see me as a disruptor/fighter, a fella who will push forward hard until the desired results are achieved. I can't push forward hard enough to stop a virus. I feel powerless.

And we're not even bridging the financial devastation about to take place!

As much as I want to fight this I sense failure.

I've already been showing an irritable side of my charming personality and I can feel more of my temper brewing - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I do see glimpses of light. I do feel strength, but more out of a feeling that that's my role within my family unit. While in my heart I want to lie on the couch covered in a blanket watching mindless television endlessly scrolling my phone.

I will continue to experience both - the feeling of helplessness and despair and the elation and beauty of the moments relying on hope and faith to propel me forward.

Here's to going forward.
Here's to knowing I am not perfect.
Here's to knowing I am an okay person.
Here's to failing for it is a great teacher.

Time to tackle that "to-do" list I made and maybe spend some time under a blanket later today.

Love to Love

Good morning or just a "good to you" whatever part of the day it may be. 

This world leaves me intrigued and confused and I've tried to find a few rocks to stand on that are not wobbly and don't tumble.

I've determined things that are true for me. They are many and yet not.

The one that stands out is about LOVE.

What is love that never recounts your errors and wrongdoings?

I love the quote "love....keeps no record of wrongs". (It's from a bible verse)
Imagine being loved by someone who doesn't keep a record of your wrongdoings?

Imagine if you didn't keep a record of your wrongdoings?

Imagine if the love you have to give was given without expectation?

Isn't that the kind of love we should have?

Love should be given with zero expectation of anything in return.

"Love to love"