Sunday, December 27, 2015


I think we passed four people begging for money or was it five in a six block walk.

In the city this is common.

When someone asks.........what do we do?

What if that was, begging.

what if it was you?

would you want someone to give?

Wednesday, October 21, 2015


if we are not making a difference in this world

what is the difference you want to make?

think about it.  - - - - is it for you, the difference you want to make, or is it for others?
you or others?
you or others?
you or others?

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick 


Is the differences you make in this world for you?????

Or for others?

When you make the difference for others you have made the 
difference for yourself. 

It is in that you will rest. 


Thursday, September 17, 2015

daily muse



dew (on my feet)

chirping birds


filling the ice-cube trays

emptying the dishwasher

walking the garden


turning the music louder


may i hear the birds chirp all day

Thursday, August 13, 2015

20 minutes

I have 20 minutes actually less

to do what?

to tell what?

to gain what?

to learn what?

maybe the question is what do I have to give.....

what can I give you? what can I give that you don't already have?

there is nothing I have that you don't have - - nothing

17 minutes

I search and search to know what to give you.
there are no words that will make a difference or are there?

My daughter's cat; Mushroom, watched Walle yesterday. Walle is about....what is Wale about?

I looked for the picture of Mushroom watching Walle, it was intense. I don't have the picture. It was on snapchat. He was fixated, Mushroom, but so was Walle.

Snapchat is a bit like life. It is only there for an instant. Snapchat deletes whatever you capture, photo or video after it is life, it is gone - POOF!  14 minutes.

I googled the meaning of Walle and "wallet" came up. I re-googled Walle (the clock is ticking) and Walle saves mankind.....


How does one save mankind?

Mankind is saved over and over and over and over and over again. Saved by XMEN, Captain America, Tom Cruise, Superman (right?) and countless others....they save us from ourselves.

12, 11, 10

they don't drift....the minutes, no, they don't drift, they tick away...and tick quickly I might add.

"the sea throws rocks together, but time leaves us polished stones" U2

time....9 minutes (actually I lost count)

I don't know how much time I have left.

It's (time) escaping like sand running through the hourglass. Like a wave pulling back once it's reached shore. It evaporates into the sand into the sky and back into the sea.

HOW MUCH TIME?!?!?!?!?!?

The wave bursts in like a a wave........crashing, exploding onto the shore, bursting onto land and thundering so we all know it is here.,....and it pulls back as if you didn't even know it was there.


That's how Walle saved the world. Love.
It's all we really have.
times up.

Saturday, August 08, 2015


The ceiling leak that has plagued our house for 26 years is indicated by some drywall that fell yesterday. 
        (aforementioned ceiling) 

The back window still needs to be replaced. 

The threshold remains unfinished. 

Family has it's ups and downs and downs 

I swam at the jersey shore yesterday. Most serious undertow I've ever possibly felt. Am I getting old. 

If we sell the house we need to do some wiring, fix all the concrete sidewalk, take care of all the illegal water piping I've completed to prevent some basement flooding (it still floods), not to mention the normal painting etc...

Life is unconquerable, or is it?

It doesn't end - the pluses, the minuses. I like the pluses. 


I want to conquer the unconquerable. 

 and I struggle. 

I grasp with my imperfections, my faults, my downfalls. 

I can wallow in them. 


The faults loom,. the insecurity glistens and yet.....


God is the only way to conquer the unconquerable.

His grace. 
His forgiveness. 
His love. 

Knowing He loves me, knowing my home is not here

live the life he lived


Saturday, July 18, 2015

the definition of confidence

Carli Lloyd came to play.

Five minutes into the game she scored her second goal on the biggest stage, in the biggest game she would ever play and she did it with strength as if she caused it to happen.

You could feel the energy emulating from the field.

Then, from mid-field - - -  GOAL!!!!!!

"That", is confidence.

Three goals in the first 16 minutes of the Women's World Cup. I'd say she wanted it.

Friday, July 03, 2015


I know this feeling, this feeling of elation/confidence and happiness will pass, it always does. 

But for now, I'm going to take it. 

I am going to live it while I can. 

In a weird way I feel like I found myself again. 

I was lost (but now i'm found).

Sometimes this lost/found thing is a daily struggle (kinda like my keys)

But I want to tell you why I'm found a bit more today - - 


Reading Matthew Quick's latest book - Love May Fail

And a visit from my friend Mark

Mark did not impart any advice - no, he just shared his life concerns/happiness's and struggles. They were not to far off from mine. 

In the end. It's all good. 

I have found a bit of my B-12 again

I have been singing and playing Marley's "Three Little Birds" for about two months now. I will probably continue to do that, but that coupled with a tad of endurance and knowing I am not alone in my struggles has changed the game for today and isn't that all we really have, today?

Friday, April 10, 2015

the enemy, to put it nicely

It is said to love your enemy and whomever says, "You fool!" will be liable to the hell of fire.

Here's the problem.....I didn't call a guy a "fool" this week, I called him a derogatory term of the male anatomy that is considerably worse than being called a fool.

Sure, every morning I woke up praying for this fella,. but again, by mid to late morning I was calling him a _____ , again.

Boy is God stuff hard. I really had a hard time with this guy, I still do. I guess that's why so many people call us "Christians" hypocrites, and I can see why.

I am a hypocrite, saved by God's grace, but the things I thought, felt and said despite the fact that this fella was not nice.........and I struggle to say "not nice", despite all of this  I am wrong in my feelings and thoughts.

Sure I can preach love, love, love all day, everyday, but preaching and action are different things.

I do get it right sometimes, but more often then not, I don't, and I really need to learn to think positively about people and see people's goodness. If people looked at me the way I look at other people.....well....

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"

"whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council and whoever says, "You fool!" will be liable to the hell of fire."

Book of Matthew - the gospel message

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

heavy heart/lamentation

"and as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them" God

"may you always do for others, and let others do for you" Bob Dylan

a lamentation
how do I get him to understand this principal that has served me my whole life?

what have I done wrong to cause his ungratefulness and it my own selfishness????

where o'where are the answers my Lord?

where can I find peace amongst this heartbreak?


changing someone's heart ranks among the hardest thing to accomplish
yes, they must want to change it, i get it, i understand, but when a heart can do the most simplest of things in showing love and caring for others and someone's selfishness can't see beyond that....that hurts. 

help me Lord. 

help them Lord

help me help them o'Lord. 

Monday, March 23, 2015

Mornings mean COFFEE!!!!!

......Mornings mean God. 

I love God so much. I talk to Him. He listens. He loves me despite everything about me. And there is a lot about me that is not pretty. 

I talk to Him about the people in my life, the people I care deeply about. Not all of those things change when I ask Him to change things. I don't always understand why and I may never understand. That's one of the reasons when He tells me to pray for "understanding", I do. 

This AM I read this amazing passage in the bible. It makes perfect sense. As if you just put the last piece of a puzzle in and the picture is complete. That's what God's word does for me. 

I Hope I don't lose you here - 

"In him was life, and the life was the light of men. "
In Jesus was LIFE and should we choose that LIFE we will have serious crazy insane LIGHT

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it"
And that line....speaks for itself. 

May you find God, may you have peace and joy and happiness. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Be light. 

Friday, March 20, 2015

as broken as the world

from pure joy to negative emotions in ten minutes or less.

And the morning starts out ever so beautifully. The morning light working it's way into the day. The wildlife bustling and hustling in their routine.

6AM. wake-up, make coffee, pack for a two day work trip. Prepare a note for mechanic to drop truck off for reinspection, shower, clean truck out (quickly), knock out some minor dishwashing, toss the shedding lilies out till I can get more flowers, rewrite note to repair shop (forgot some things), gently lay with Margaret before leaving, snuggle.

Drive truck to repair shop, walk to Patco enjoying the heavy flurry of snow, make an incredibly positive fb post. Walk with a skip in my step.

Get to train station and wait and wait and wait and wait and begin to lose said skip continuing to wait KNOWING that my 8:42 AM train to DC will not wait and my cushion of 12+ minutes is going away with each passing second.

The train arrives over 20 minutes late.

My mind has totally rearranged my day since the chances of me making my Amtrak train are all but dissipated.

Where did my joy go, that skip in my step that was present not even 20 minutes ago?

I know I still have it, but I totally let a late train negate my joy and my emotions are starting to run rampant.

There was nothing I could do arriving on the 2nd train platform of the day (Septa) with 22 minutes till the Regional Amtrak departs.

It all worked out, it always does. Not worthy of  miracle status or maybe so.

Maybe we need to measure the seconds a little better, maybe it is in the detail of time where we find godly joy.

I stand now, waiting for the Regional Amtrak to's about 3 minutes out, so they say....meanwhile I listen, hoping to notice the seconds as they occur.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

today is the day (poetic justice)

yesterday is too late. 

too late, for what is gone. 

let's move forward 

- onward - 

see the moments for what they are 


they are the here, the now. 

tomorrow is not here

tomorrow is a fantasy

today is here
today is now
moments are now

take advantage of the moments

let them define you

let them be you
you become them

bask in now
delight in today
for today is not everyday
all we have is now
right now
right here

Saturday, February 14, 2015

laying down one's life for a friend

There is much here!! What started out as a simple lead into the verse - "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends". And then it led to the fact that we are not servants of Christ, but "friends".

And FRUIT - FRUIT - FRUIT - bear fruit. Oh how I hope I am. I think I am. Fruit is usable. Are my actions in the world causing fruit to be developed? Is that fruit for the greater good of God?
I think to worry about this, is, in the words of Solomon - "meaningless". 

If you let Jesus be the "vine", and He is a GOOD vine., and of you are the branch, and you let God prune you as a branch....cutting out portions of YOUR branch, that well....need cutting out. If you let that all happen - you ARE being fruitful. 

Our fruit is not measured by man or by ourselves. For God knows the vine is his son. And from the vine come the branches.....we, the branches, bearing fruit to glorify God, by loving others and treating them as such as our father treats us. Hallelujah amen, hallelujah amen.

There was a time when I would read God's word and I felt like I was going in circles. None of it would make sense. It happens. But if we actively seek out the truth. We will find it. 100% guaranteed. 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

New Study Links Intelligence to Driving Habits

A recent study of New Jersey drivers showed that the use of headlights during dawn, dusk and inclimate weather is a sign of superior intelligence among humans.

Research conducted over 47 years thru diligent observations has been accredited among top philosophers in the Delaware Valley.

Studies further cited that people who use their blinkers within the required 100 feet prior to turning were of the highest IQ level.

The final results are as follows; if a driver exhibits all four of the following traits below, they are a person of uber intelligence.

How many of these do you practice?

a) headlight use at dusk and dawn
b) headlight use during inclimate weather
c) proper 100' blinker use prior to turn
d) snow removal from car roof*
These folks were not only found to be of incredible intelligence, but also, accumulated  great wealth, so much in fact that most had private drivers.

*snow removal from car rooftops was found to be of intelligence equivalent to Albert Einstein