Friday, December 20, 2013


what is it I search for?

The peace of the sunset, the peace of the day. Mornings of leisure and evenings of laughter. Instead of days that run together pulling us asunder.

Our daily goals and purposes becoming achievements that God will never measure.

I want my life to be one that God measures. A life that has true meaning.

I want to be the man that God wants me to be, designed me to be.

I don't want to chase the lottery.

and when the morning light comes streaming in
i'll get up and do it again
say it again
The Pretender, J. Browne 

"whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men" God

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

this world is not my home

When I was 21 and Margaret and I were expecting Sean, I got a second job at WaWa that turned into a 10 year career and my dreams of growing an annual holiday beard were dashed as WaWa has a no facial hair policy.

In 1994 WaWa and I parted and since that parting I have grown a holiday/winter beard from Thanksgiving to Christmas, despite my daughter hating a kiss from the bearded daddy.

It is the time to shave the beard early.
Change is needed. There is an urgency to this change. I can't explain it. I need to renew.

In the past few weeks the normal amazing sunrises and sunsets have occurred and an amazing full moon moonrise. Snow has laid. Ice has coated  What the world has offered has been a world of beauty and wonder. I have met people in the past week who have changed my world for the better and I hope I have done the same for them as we experience life, but yet, the beard must go. Time to awaken my soul with change.

A co-worker, Robin, dropped her mom at the mall entrance, parked and proceeded walked to meet her. Robin was hit in the parking lot while walking. She is improving.

A friend's sister; Juli, had a stroke at 27. Speech/walking are all now difficult. She too is improving.

My son-in-law Johnny's friend, Geoff had a friend that was killed by a car while crossing the street. He was 22.

I am only scratching the surface.

 When I was 5 years old I started calling to God, in the sky to show himself. I wanted God to prove his existence to me. You see, the Santa bubble had been broken, Santa wasn't real and I wanted God to be real, God, the creator, to be real.  God needed to prove his existence to first grader Tate Perazzelli of 139 Northmont Drive, Mt. Ephriam, NJ.

It has taken years of searching and reckoning to know the truth about God and even that knowing  comes with doubt.

That's why the beard must go.
I know there is a God.
I know this world is not my home and heaven is.

Sometimes I must make physical changes to remind my inner-self of what I already know in my heart of hearts. - - God is real, He has promised me and anyone who looks for Him eternal life.

Look for Him. Make a change .

Saturday, December 07, 2013

kindness, don't ask for much

There's a song I listened to a lot last year. "Kindness" by Ryan Adams. 
A friend of mine, Adam, once said that all Ryan Adams does is write good songs, in this case, Ryan did. 
Ryan Adams

The lyrics are what hit home- 
If you're so kind can you let down your hand?
Can you let down your hand if your so kind?
And then - 
If you're so strong can you shelter the weak?
Will you listen as the strangers speak?  Bring them calm?

I have always felt I was kind, at least when I wanted to be kind. I was kind when people deserved my kindness, when they earned it. 

And then something started happening. I started seeing people differently, I saw them with less and less judgement and more and more love. Even those people I don't like. Even those people whose appearance(s) I struggle with. Even those that irritate me. 

You see, I am starting to treat others as I want to be treated. 

the chorus of the song goes like this....."kindness, don't ask for much, but an open mind"

so whatever you wish others would do to you, do also to them - - God

judge not and you will not be judged - - God

open your mind and heart to God for He is real, true and never changing. 


Sunday, December 01, 2013

over n over n over

whenever I work on a teaching a bible class it's like the same topics OVER and OVER and OVER for me -

all I can say is thank God for them!

gonna add in a little peace and understanding today :)